To take OP specific example, I have also heard things like this cited as examples of “toxic masculinity”. It an attack on men because it assumes that the answer to these problems is for men to change their behavior, not for society to change. I suppose in theory someone could talk about “toxic masculinity” without doing this, but it never happens..

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“Follow me or perish, sweater monkeys!””Remember, I’m pullin’ for ya. Just because I’m not really close to anyone in my family (actually, there are a few people who tell me about their sex lives and it wouldn’t bug me if they talked about masturbation.). I’m closer to my friends, and I wouldn’t mind at all if they talked about it, and I have tlaked about it a lot to a lot of my friends and boy/girlfriends..

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Which is to say: throwing our rapists in prison does not stop rape, but it does further entrench a reliance on the prison industrial complex and the State more generally. Given that one of the biggest root causes of sexual violence is toxic masculinity, we ought to address the culture that breeds it, instead of excommunicating and disowning individuals who are products of it. And that we especially ought not try to address toxic masculinity through an industrial punishment system that is seeping with it.That said: transformative justice does not shirk individuals of responsibility and accountability.